নরোত্তম দাস কহে, সদা মোর প্রাণ দহে,
হেন ভক্ত-সঙ্গ না পাইয়া ।
অভাগ্যের নাহি ওর, মিছাই হইনু ভোর,
দুঃখ রহে অন্তরে জাগিয়া ॥ ৮৬ ॥
narottama dāsa kahe, sadā mora prāṇa dahe,
hena bhakta-saṅga nā pāiyā |
abhāgyera nāhi ora, michāi hainu bhora,
duḥkha rahe antare jāgiyā || 86 ||
Narottama Dāsa says, “My heart always burns from the lack of devotee association. There is no limit to my misfortune; I am engrossed in illusion. Misery has awakened within me.”
Desiring the Association of Devotees
Sudhā-Kaṇikā-Vyākhyā: Through his instructions to his mind in the previous verse, Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya revealed his wish to always keep awake in his heart the desire to give up all aspirations but prema and to serve Parama Īśvara Hari Śrī Kṛṣṇa. He further wishes to always long for rasika-vara Śrī Govinda or Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava in Śrī Vṛndāvana. Now, overcome by humility, he is thinking that these qualities which are common to the great devotees have no possibility of appearing in his mind, which is deeply attached to sense objects. But if he could get the association of some great bhakta who possesses such devotional qualities, the power of the bhakta’s association and compassion could cause those qualities to be transmitted into even his mind. Without the association of such a great soul, the fault of being averse to Śrī Bhagavān is not removed, the self-concept of being connected to the body and all related to it is not destroyed, and the powerful desire to attain śrī-kṛṣṇa-prema and taste the Divine Couple’s sweetness is not produced. Śrī Bhagavān’s compassion appears within the jīva through the channel of a great soul’s mercy, not independently. For a jīva afflicted by worldly life, the mercy of a sādhu is paramount; getting Bhagavān’s direct mercy is secondary. Moreover, the mercy of the sādhus is not attainable without getting their association. We therefore see the following in Mahārāja Mucukunda’s words to Śrī Kṛṣṇa in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.51.54:
bhavāpavargo bhramato yadā bhavej
janasya tarhy acyuta sat-samāgamaḥ |
sat-saṅgama yarhi tadaiva sad-gatau
parāvareśe tvayi jāyate ratiḥ ||
“O infallible Lord! When the time arrives for a worldly person’s earthly bondage to end, he encounters a sādhu. When this holy association occurs, attachment arises in him for you, the sole refuge of the saintly and ruler of the high and low.” When the jīva repeatedly hears the naturally God-related narrations from the mouths of great souls, faith in Śrī Bhagavān appears in his heart. Gradually some taste develops from hearing these discussions and then the practice of śravaṇa, kīrtana and the rest of the nine kinds of bhakti causes prema, the fifth goal of life, to begin to unfold.
Feeling very humble, Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya laments, narottama dāsa kahe, sadā mora prāṇa dahe, hena bhakta-saṅga nā pāiyā. He feels a powerful burning sensation in his heart due to the lack of devotee association. He thinks that it is very difficult for him to obtain such mahat-saṅga, which is the most desirable of all things. In the Ādi-Purāṇa (as quoted in Śrī-Hari-Bhakti-Vilāsa), Śrī Kṛṣṇa says the following to Śrī Arjuna:
mad-bhakto durlabho yasya sa eva mama durlabhaḥ |
tat-paro durlabho nāsti satyaṁ satyaṁ dhanañjaya ||
----------------------------
ye me bhakta-janāḥ pārtha na me bhaktāś ca te janāḥ |
mad-bhaktānāṁ ca ye bhaktās te me bhaktatamā matāḥ ||
ye kecit prāṇino bhaktā mad-arthe tyakta bāndhavāḥ |
teṣām ahaṁ parikrīto nānya-krīto dhanañjaya ||
“O Pārtha! One who is dear to my bhakta is very dear to me; truly, no one in the world is more dear to me. Those who are devoted only to me are not my true bhaktas; those who are the bhaktas of my bhaktas are the best of all. I am purchased by those devotees who renounce their friends and relatives for my sake, not by others.” One of the best ways to attain Bhagavān’s mercy is to consider the association of devotees to be precious. This is substantiated by Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s words above. The mercy of a bhakta is obtained through bhakta-saṅga. The more a great soul’s compassion falls upon a fortunate jīva, the more the jīva becomes qualified to obtain Bhagavān’s mercy and prema.
Then he says, abhāgyera nāhi ora, michāi hainu bhora, duḥkha rahe antare jāgiyā. Though being the embodiment of prema, Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya ascertains with deep humility that he has been deprived of the association of devotees because of his own misfortune. He says, abhāgyera nāhi ora, meaning, “There is no limit to my misfortune, yet I madly think I have the good fortune to be a bhakta. In fact, though being unfortunate, I deceive myself by thinking I am fortunate. After awakening in my heart, this misery has remained to sting it.” Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya’s humble words remind us that we often think of ourselves as actual bhaktas or bhajanānandīs, resulting in self-complacency. In fact, the nature of bhakti is insatiability. premera svabhāva—yāṅhā preme sambandha, sei māne—kṛṣṇe mora nāhi prema-gandha (Śrī-Caitanya-Caritāmṛta, Antya 20.28). “The nature of prema is that wherever a relationship of prema occurs, the devotee thinks, ‘I have not even the scent of love for Kṛṣṇa.’” By causing an insatiable desire to awaken within the sādhaka, bhakti ensures that humility, the life of bhajana, remains active in his heart and mind. The sādhaka then reflects upon his wretched condition and prays to Bhagavān with a sorrowful heart:
mat-tulyo nāsti pāpātmā nāparādhī ca kaścana |
parihāre’pi lajjā me kiṁ bruve puruṣottama ||
“O Puruṣottama! There is no one in the world as sinful and offensive as I. I can only ask that you forgive my transgressions. I feel ashamed to offer such a prayer at your lotus feet.” Because the sādhaka possesses all good qualities, his lamentation causes Śrī Bhagavān’s compassionate heart to tremble and release a ceaseless flow of mercy upon him. After that, nothing is unattainable for the sādhaka.
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