লীলারস সদা গান, যুগল-কিশোর প্রাণ,
প্রার্থনা করিব অভিলাষ ।
জীবনে মরণে এই, আর কিছু নাহি চাই,
কহে দীন নরোত্তম দাস ॥ ১০০ ॥
līlā-rasa sadā gāna, yugala-kiśora prāṇa,
prārthanā kariba abhilāṣa |
jībane maraṇe ei, āra kichu nāhi cāi,
kahe dīna narottama dāsa || 100 ||
I pray that I may always sing of Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Krsna’s pastimes, that I may dedicate my life to them and forever serve them. Lowly Narottama Dāsa wants nothing more in life or death.
Desirable in Life and Death
Sudhā-Kaṇikā-Vyākhyā: In this verse, Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya reveals three prayers for his life and death. līlā-rasa sadā gāna, yugala-kiśora prāṇa, prārthanā kariba abhilāṣa. He wants to always sing of Yugala-Kiśora’s nectarous pastimes, to dedicate his life to Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava and be engaged in his long-cherished sevā. Although these desires are natural for Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya, who is an embodiment of prema, he expressed this threefold prayer due to his deep humility or because of the insatiable quality of bhakti. For the Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas, this is the highest aspiration in life or death.
The first of these prayers is līlā-rasa sadā gāna. Here, by using the word līlā (pastimes), their names, forms and qualities are also implied. By using the word gāna (singing), the acts of hearing, remembering and so on are implied. Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s names, forms, qualities and pastimes are all rasa and most delicious. Śrī Kṛṣṇa is ānanda-svarūpa (the embodiment of joy) or rasa-svarūpa (the embodiment of rasa). His joyful, rasika nature is revealed through his names, qualities, pastimes and so on because they are all born of that nature. kṛṣṇa-nāma, kṛṣṇa-guṇa, kṛṣṇa-līlā-bṛnda; kṛṣṇera svarūpa sama saba cidānanda. Rasa-svarūpa Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s names, forms, qualities and pastimes combined with those of mahābhāvamayī Śrī Rādhārāṇī are sweeter than sweet. In the same way, premamayī Śrī Rādhā’s qualities, pastimes and so on mixed with those of rasarāja Śrī Kṛṣṇa are extremely sweet. Therefore, Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇava sādhakas accept the identities of their siddha-svarūpas and relish the rasa of Yugala-Kiśora’s forms, qualities and pastimes. In this way they become happy and experience the highest level of enjoyment in the spiritual realm.
Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya has not mentioned forms or qualities here; he only spoke of līlā-rasa. This is because rūpa, guṇa and nāma are all contained within līlā. When you hear or sing about Yugala-Kiśora’s pastimes, you also hear and sing about their forms, qualities and so on. The purport of him saying gāna (singing) without mentioning śravaṇa or smaraṇa is that they are automatically accomplished along with the performance of kīrtana. One reason for using the word gāna instead of kīrtana is that Śrī Yugala-Kiśora’s līlā-rasa is sweeter than sweet, and if songs about it are accompanied by melody and rhythm, it melts the heart. By introducing a type of music known as garāṇahāṭī, Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya demonstrated such amazing knowledge of music that great devotees who hear and witness it are astonished and their hearts are melted. Here he reveals his desire to always remain submerged in līlā-rasa-kīrtana.
Then, his second prayer is yugala-kiśora prāṇa. Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava are the self of the self or paramātmā, another of their transcendental forms. Therefore, it is natural that everyone feels them to be dearer than their own lives. The ātmā or self is the object of everyone’s love. Due to their relationship with it, a person’s body, home, spouse, children, wealth and so on become dear. Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.14.50-55 says the following:
sarveṣām api bhūtānāṁ nṛpa svātmaiva vallabhaḥ |
itare’patya-vittādyās tad-vallabhatayaiva hi ||
tad rājendra yathā snehaḥ sva-svakātmani dehinām |
na tathā mamatālambi-putra-vitta-gṛhādiṣu ||
dehātma-vādināṁ puṁsām api rājanya-sattama |
yathā dehaḥ priyatamas tathā na hy anu ye ca tam ||
deho’pi mamatā-bhāk cet tarhy asau nātmavat priyaḥ |
yaj jīryaty api dehe’smin jīvitāśā balīyasī ||
tasmāt priyatamaḥ svātmā sarveṣām api dehinām |
tad-artham eva sakalaṁ jagad etac carācaram ||
kṛṣṇam enam avehi tvam ātmānam akhilātmanām |
jagad-dhitāya so’py atra dehīvābhāti māyayā ||
When Śrī Śukamuni described in the brahma-mohana-līlā (the bewilderment of Brahmā) how the vrajavāsīs had more affection for Yaśodānandana than even their own sons, Mahārāja Parīkṣit inquired, “It is usually seen that everyone has more affection for their own children than for the children of others, but the vrajavāsīs love Yaśodā’s son even more than their own. Why is that?” Śrī Śukamuni replied, “O King! To all creatures the self or ātmā is most dear. Children, wealth and other things become dear because the self is dear. For this reason, the kind of affection expressed by living beings for their own bodies is not expressed for the other objects of their affection, such as children, wealth, home and so on. Even those who accept the body as the self do not consider their children and so on to be as dear as their own bodies. Though the body is an object of attachment, it is still not as dear as the ātmā. For example, when the body wears out and a person is about to die, his desire to live still remains strong. Therefore, the ātmā is very dear to those who are embodied, and the mobile and immobile universe becomes dear due to love of the ātmā. O King! Śrī Kṛṣṇa is the supreme form of paramātmā, the self of all selves, but for the benefit of the world, he has appeared like an ordinary embodied soul.”
Even though Śrī Kṛṣṇa is naturally dearer to everyone than their own souls, the heart and mind of a jīva who has been forever averse to him are polluted by māyā and cannot experience this. If one is eager for Kṛṣṇa and takes shelter of the path of bhakti, his realization of Kṛṣṇa’s dearness awakens to the degree of his bhakti. The premika-bhaktas feel that Kṛṣṇa is millions of times more precious than their own lives. The highly advanced premika-bhakta Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya is Śrī Rādhā’s dear maidservant. Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava are countless times more dear to her than her own life. Therefore, he said, yugala-kiśora prāṇa.
Then he said, prārthanā kariba abhilāṣa. “I pray that I may fulfill my long-cherished desire to serve Śrī Yugala-Kiśora.” Bhakti means sevā or service. bhaj ity eṣa vai dhātuḥ sevāyāṁ parikīrtitaḥ. The word bhakti is derived from the verbal root bhaj, which means service. Therefore, bhakti means service. The most precious thing for a bhakta is the sevā of his chosen deities. Service to them is happiness; everything else is misery. Those who worship in mañjarī-bhāva are especially devoted to sevā. Sevā is their life; they are always ready to serve. Sevā is the only wealth they desire. Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya has thus expressed his prayer for service. His song Prārthanā is saturated with the rasa of his unprecedented prayer for the sevā of Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava. He prayed to Śrī Rādhārāṇī as follows in verse 33:
prāṇeśvari! eibāra karuṇā kara more |
daśanete tṛṇa dhari, añjali mastake kari, eijana nibedana kare ||
priya-sahacarī saṅge, sebana kariba raṅge, aṅge beśa karibeka sādhe |
rākha ei sebā kāje, nija-pada-paṅkaje, priya-sahacarī-gaṇa mājhe ||
sugandhi candana, maṇimaya ābharaṇa, kauṣika basana nānā-raṅge |
ei saba sebā yāra, dāsī yena haṅ tāra, anukṣaṇa thāki tāra saṅge ||
jala subāsita kari, ratana bhṛṅgāre bhari, karpūra-bāsita guyāpāna |
e saba sājāiyā ḍālā, labaṅga mālatī mālā, bhakṣya-drabya nānā anupāma ||
sakhīra iṅgita habe, e saba āniba kabe, yogāiba lalitāra kāche |
narottama dāsa kaya, ei yena mora haya, dāṇḍāiyā raha sakhīra pāche ||
Narottama Dāsa says, “O goddess of my life! Please give me your mercy now. Holding straw in my teeth, with my hands folded at my head, I submit this prayer. I wish to serve you along with my friends in great delight. I wish to dress your beautiful limbs with fragrant sandalwood paste, jeweled ornaments and colorful silken clothes. Keep me engaged among my friends in this service to your lotus feet. I will be your maidservant and remain with you at every moment. When beckoned by a sakhī, I will bring to Lalitā a jeweled tray bearing scented water in a jeweled pitcher, camphor scented tāmbūla, garlands of cloves and jasmine and a variety of excellent foods. I will then stand behind a sakhī, waiting for my chance to serve.”
Then he prays,
prāṇeśvari! kabe more habe kṛpā-diṭhi |
ājñāya āniba kabe, bibidha phula-bara, śuniba bacana duṅhu miṭhi ||
mṛgamada tilaka, sindūra banāyaba, lepaba candana gandhe |
gāṅthi mālatī phula, hāra pahirāoba, dhāoyāba madhukara bṛnde ||
lalitā kabe more, bījana deoba, bījaba māruta mande |
śrama-jala sakala, miṭaba duṅhu kalebara, heraba parama ānande ||
narottama dāsa, āśa pada-paṅkaja, sebana mādhurī pāne |
haoba hena dina, nā dekhiye kona cina, duṅhu-jana heraba nayāne ||
“O goddess of my life! When will you cast your merciful glance on me? When, by your order, will I bring you various kinds of beautiful flowers? When will I hear your sweet conversations with Kṛṣṇa? When will I anoint your forehead with tilaka made of musk, paint vermilion in the part of your hair and smear your body with fragrant sandalwood paste? I will adorn you with a garland strung with jasmine flowers and chase away the bees. When will Lalitā give me a fan so I can cool you both with a gentle breeze? I will wipe the perspiration from your bodies. I will behold you in great joy. Narottama Dāsa hopes he can drink the sweetness of service to your lotus feet, but he sees no sign that he will ever see you both with his own two eyes.”
This sevā is to be desired in life, and it is also most desirable in the siddha-svarūpa after death. Other than this, a pure bhakta has no other desire. Therefore Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya said, jībane maraṇe ei, āra kichu nāhi cāi, kahe dīna narottama dāsa. “Lowly Narottama Dāsa says, ‘In life or death, I want nothing more than this.” Previously, in verse 42, he said, jībane maraṇe gati, rādhā-kṛṣṇa prāṇa-pati, doṅhāra pīriti-rasa-sukhe, yugala saṅgati yārā, mora prāṇa gale hārā, ei kathā raha mora buke. “Śrī Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa are the rulers of my life and my only shelter in this world and the next. Those sakhīs and mañjarīs who are always with them, submerged in the joy of the Divine Couple’s mutual love, are like a garland around not only my neck, but also my very life. Let these words remain forever in my heart.”
