कृष्णामृतं चल विगाढुमितीरिताहं
तावत् सहस्व रजनी सखि यावदेति ।
इत्थं विहस्य वृषभानुसुताह लप्स्ये
मानं कदा रसदकेलिकदम्बजातम् ॥ १५ ॥
kṛṣṇāmṛtaṁ cala vigāḍhum itīritāhaṁ
tāvat sahasva rajanī sakhi yāvad eti |
itthaṁ vihasya vṛṣabhānu-sutāha(1) lapsye
mānaṁ kadā rasada-keli-kadamba-jātam || 15 ||
“O daughter of Vṛṣabhānu! When you say to me, ‘Take me to bathe in the kṛṣṇāmṛta,’ meaning the nectarous waters of the Yamunā, I will take the meaning of kṛṣṇāmṛta to be the nectar of Kṛṣṇa’s association. I will say, ‘O friend, you will have to endure until nightfall. Then I will take you to the kuñja and bathe you in kṛṣṇāmṛta.’ Hearing my joking words, you will laugh and pelt me repeatedly with honey-oozing kadamba flowers. Ah, when shall I get such an honor?”
The Honor of Being Śrī Rādhā’s Maidservant
Rasa-Varṣiṇī-Vyākhyā: Śrīpāda is deeply absorbed in his svarūpa. He has no other aim than Śrī Rādhārāṇī’s lotus feet. The ācāryas are our role models. Our sādhaka lives must be shaped by following them. We want this life of sādhana to be filled with realization. It is not that now we will do bhajana and then some day in the future we will get realization. Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.2.42 says that when one performs bhajana, both realization and apathy toward sense objects simultaneously arise.
bhaktiḥ pareśānubhavo viraktir anyatra caiṣa trika eka-kālaḥ |
prapadyamānasya yathāśnataḥ syus tuṣṭiḥ puṣṭiḥ kṣud-apāyo’nughāsam ||
“When one eats a meal, he is simultaneously satisfied, nourished and relieved from hunger. In the same way, when one performs bhajana, then devotion, realization of Bhagavān and apathy toward sense objects all arise simultaneously.”
A jīva like me is thoroughly absorbed in his body, so there is no feeling that “I am Rādhā’s dāsī.” My affinity with māyā seems like a good thing. To instruct people like me, Śrīla Ṭhākura Mahāśaya has written,
biṣaya garalamaya, tāhe māna sukhacaya, sei sukha duḥkha kari jāna |
gobinda-biṣaya-rasa, saṅga kara tāra dāsa, prema-bhakti satya kari jāna ||
gauḍīya baiṣṇabera śrī-rādhārāṇīra sebāi sukha, āra saba duḥkhamaya |
sakhī-gaṇa cāripāśe, sebā kari abhilāṣe, se sebā parama sukha-dhare ||
“Sense objects are filled with poison, which you consider to be pleasure. That pleasure is misery. Just meditate on the rasa of things related to Govinda, associate with his servants and know that prema-bhakti is real. For the Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇava, service to Śrī Rādhārāṇī is true happiness and anything else is misery. Long to serve her in the company of the sakhīs, for that service contains the supreme happiness.”
In the previous verse, while absorbed in his svarūpa, Śrīpāda experienced the sweet pastimes of Śrī Śrī Yugala-Kiśora and the joy of sevā. At the end of his vision, he felt overwhelmed with viraha and prayed, “Let my mind delight in Śrī Rādhā’s forest playground of Vṛndāvana.” Within a short while, another vision appeared. It was summertime, in the morning, in Yāvaṭa. Śrīmatī and her sakhīs were submerged in the nectar of kṛṣṇa-kathā. Her friend Śyāmalā had just arrived. Śrī Rādhā joyfully embraced her and made her sit beside her. A wonderful stream of delightful memories began to flow. The minnow-like hearts of the sakhīs and mañjarīs began to swim happily in that stream. Śrī Rādhā said, “My dear friend Śyāmalā, last night, in the bower cottage, I was indeed momentarily bathed in a shower of strange blue radiance from a dark cloud. But friend, after a thirsty person drinks a refreshing beverage in her dream, she remains as thirsty as before. In the same way, without any satisfaction from the night’s play, it all seems like a dream to me.” Hearing Śrī Rādhā’s words, Śyāmalā laughed and jokingly said, “My dear friend Rādhā, that was neither a dream nor magic; your mind is truly bewildered. The sweet aroma of that person’s lotus mouth makes respectable girls go blind even from a distance. You have drunk the delicious honey from that lotus mouth in large quantities, so it is no surprise that your mind would be bewildered by intoxication.” In this way, Śyāmalā was cracking so many jokes, and Śrī Rādhā and her sakhīs sank into the rasa. When Śyāmalā had gone, the sakhīs prepared for Śrī Rādhā’s bath. Śrīmatī said, kṛṣṇāmṛtaṁ cala vigāḍhum. “Now let’s go bathe in the nectar of the Yamunā.” Śrīpāda, in his kiṅkarī-form, took Śrīmatī’s words (kṛṣṇāmṛtam) to mean ‘the nectar of Kṛṣṇa’s association’ and replied, tāvat sahasva rajanī sakhi yāvad eti. “Hey Sakhī Rādhā, you will have to endure until nightfall. Then I will take you to the bower cottage and bathe you in kṛṣṇāmṛta.”
What a wonderful nature she has! Even though she is a maidservant, she is also a friend, a vessel of sakhya-rasa. Because she is a kiṅkarī, she has no hesitation in laughing and joking when she experiences sakhya-rasa. Śrīpāda Dāsa Gosvāmī has said, “I have no other desire than to perform the best kind of service at your lotus feet. I offer obeisance to the type of friendship that has no servitude in it; I hold it on my head. But what I want is servitude mixed with friendship.” (Vilāpa-Kusumāñjalī 16) This is the best type of dāsya because it also allows the kiṅkarīs, like the sakhīs, to freely laugh and joke with Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa. In Sudevī‘s kuñja, Śrī Yugala placed their wagers and began to play a game of dice. Śyāmasundara is defeated. At Śrīmatī’s signal, a dāsī begins to joke with Śyāmasundara. “Mādhava! You should not come here to play dice anymore. Grazing cows is fine, but when doing so, one’s intelligence becomes like a cow’s. The virtues and faults of association are unavoidable. For this reason, you should only play games that require bodily strength; you should no longer play games that require intelligence.” She is both a sakhī (friend) and a dāsī (maidservant). What a sweet way to worship! This rādhā-dāsya is Mahāprabhu’s great gift: sublime, unrestrained, nectarous bhakti that has never been offered before.
Due to the kiṅkarī’s words, the bhāva known as rati has risen in Śrīmatī’s mind. Goosebumps appear on her beautiful body. She tries to hide her transformed bhāva from the kiṅkarī, but a gentle smile nevertheless illuminates her beautiful face. The kiṅkarī relishes the sweetness of that smile! Feigning anger, Śrīmatī chastises the kiṅkarī with a disapproving glance. In the early morning, the dāsīs had brought kadamba flowers for making Śrīmatī’s garlands and other decorations. Śrīmatī takes some of those fresh, nectar-oozing flowers and pelts the kiṅkarī with them, and the kiṅkarī relishes the beauty of Śrīmatī’s eyes and mouth as she does so! The kiṅkarī thinks that under the guise of striking her with kadamba flowers, merciful Śrī Rādhā is giving her an immeasurable honor. Suddenly the vision has ended. In sādhaka consciousness, he humbly reveals his heartfelt prayer at Śrīmatī’s lotus feet: “When shall I get such an honor from you?”
Another reading for the words yāvad eti in this verse is yāvatīti. By accepting this reading, we can relish another kind of sweet explanation. Today, Mādhava sent a messenger to inform Śrīmatī of their rendezvous in the keli-kadamba-kuñja.(2) Sri Rādhā dressed appropriately for the dark night: by smearing her beautiful lightning-like skin with blue ointment and donning a blue dress, she seems to merge with the darkness.
nīlima mṛga-made tanu anulepana nīlima hāra ujora |
nīla balaya-gaṇe bhuja-yuga maṇḍita pahiraṇa nīla-nicola ||
sundarī hari abhisāraka lāgi |
naba anurāge gorī bhela śyāmarī kuhu yāminī bhaya bhāgi ||
“Her body is smeared with blue musk, she wears a radiant blue necklace and blue scarf, and her arms are adorned with blue bangles. The beautiful fair-skinned girl has become dark. She touches her lover Hari with renewed affection. The sweet cooing of a cuckoo drives away the fear of night.” (Govinda Dāsa)
Śrīmatī has arrived in the courtyard of the saṅketa-kuñja(3) filled with love. The eager nāgara(4) is enchanted by the sound of her ankle bells, so he comes out of the kuñja and tenderly brings his sweetheart inside. Their hearts melt for each other. baiṭhali rāi śyāma bāma-pāśa; duṅhu jana purala mana abhilāṣa. “Rādhā sits to the left of Śyāma; both are filled with desire.” (Mahājana)
Śrīpāda is serving the Divine Couple in the form of a kiṅkarī and she understands that they want to make love. The kiṅkarī goes outside the kuñja, peeks through a hole and is blessed with a taste of their sweet union.
duṅhu rase bhora heri pāñca-bāṇa | keli-kalā kiye karala sandhāna ||
dekha puna cetana duṅhu abalamba | punahi acetana yaba duṅhu cumba ||
bipula pulaka-bara sveda sañcāra | cira-thira nayane nīra anibāra ||
kāṅpai tharahari gadagada bhāṣa | duṅhu doṅhā paraśane katahuṅ ullāsa ||
āna āna saṅge raṅge bharu aṅga | ko karu anubhaba prema-taraṅga ||
“Seeing the couple submerged in rasa, Kāmadeva united them with his erotic skills. Look! When they are conscious again they lean on each other for support, then kiss and swoon once more. Goosebumps and perspiration cover their limbs. They remain still for long periods and tears fill their eyes. They tremble incessantly and their voices are choked with emotion. They feel great delight and are overwhelmed with passion when their bodies touch. Who can experience such waves of love?” (Rādhāmohana Dāsa)
The kiṅkarī now approaches the delightful keli-kadamba-kuñja. The bower cottage is permeated with the sweet nectar of Śrī Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes. When the love-making is over, the kiṅkarīs know it is time for sevā, so they enter the kuñja.
sebana parāyaṇā sahacarī āi | cāmara bījana bījai tāi ||
bāsita bāri koi sakhī dela | badanaka carabaṇa-tāmbūla nela ||
“When her devoted companions arrived for sevā, one sakhī fanned them with a cāmara, another gave them scented water and another brought tāmbūla for them to chew. (Mahājana)
Everyone has become delirious from the amorous play of the jewel of charming girls. Though she is with Śyāma, she thinks she is alone; she considers night to be day. cāṅdaka heri, suraya kari bhākhaye, dinahi rajanī kari māna. “Seeing the moon, she calls it the sun; she takes night to be day.” (Mahājana)
She says to the kiṅkarī, “Sakhī! Let’s go bathe in the Yamunā (kṛṣṇāmṛtaṁ cala vigāḍhum).” The kiṅkarī replies, tāvat sahasva rajanī sakhi yāvatīti. “O Rādhā, it is nighttime now; you can bathe in the Yamunā in the morning.” Hearing the kiṅkarī’s words, Śrīmatī realized her mistake and laughed a little. The kiṅkarī considered the sweetness of that laugh to be the greatest reward and sheltered it within her heart. After his vision has ended, Śrīpāda prays, “When shall I get that honor again?”
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1. Suteha is another reading here, according to Śrī Purīdāsa.
2. The kadamba tree under which the amorous sports of Kṛṣṇa were held (Samsad)
3. The bower where their secret tryst takes place
4. Male lover
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